When will I be free? di me quango, quango, quango?

Quango - Quasi-autonomous government organisation.
Alternative definition; a tool for by-passing normal democratic procedures and railroading through decisions which would otherwise have been defeated. And, coincidentally, not a bad way to get friends, sycophants and other fellow travellers onto the Westminster gravy train..
Given all of the above, it's little wonder that Quangos are much loved by Stalin's natural heir, Not So Flash Gordon Brown. They combine everything that he most prizes: the potential for the generation of reams of statistics that he can pore over in the wee, small hours when normal people are asleep; the clear evidence that he is "getting on with the job" and, best of all, the chance to impose his statist vision of society on the hapless inhabitants of this country without having to continually seek our agreement or permission.
Take his latest monstrosity, the Planning Reform Bill, which creates a new Quango whose stated function is to ensure that major infrastructure projects are approved and instigated as soon as possible without being subjected to the tedious processes generally associated with planning applications. On the face of it, this is an entirely sensible aim; particularly in a country so bereft of a joined up energy policy that power blackouts could soon be an everyday experience.
But, of course, since this is Uncle Joe Brown we are dealing with, things are nowhere near as simple as they seem. For a start, most of the infrastructure development we are talking about affects only England - not the rest of the UK. Thus, it will affect people living near Sizewell, Windscale and other nuclear sites located in England that have been earmarked for the next generation of nuclear power stations. The population of the counties of Bucks and Berks will bear the impact of a third runway at Heathrow.
So, it is more than slightly wearing that this legislation, whose impact will be to crush democratic debate and scrutiny of planning applications for major infrastructure projects in England, was rammed through the Commons with the help of 72 Scottish MPs, 40 Welsh MPs and a dozen or so from Norn Ireland. As usual, NSF Gordon turned to the Tartan Mafia to nod through legislation that he knows will be as welcome in the English shires as halitosis in a diving suit. His Scottish brethren willingly play along, safe in the knowledge that it will have virtually no negative impact on the people or countryside of North Britain.
Nor is it untypical that, having forced through the legislation in order to kick-start big-ticket infrastructure applications such as nuclear generators, the very first projects that he will use it to rubber-stamp will be the ill-thought-out and hugely damaging Eco-Towns.
Painted a warm and fuzzy green colour to make them seem more appealing, these are just overspill or new towns under another name. They are necessary because, as we have discussed before, this administration has allowed three million or so extra people to settle in this country and now needs to find some way to house them. Since, from choice, most of these newcomers want to be where the jobs and money are - i.e. the South - that is where the housing need is most urgent. But, the government can't admit that one of its almighty cock-ups has led inexorably to another, so some spotty youths in the Policy Department were told to come up with an idea that was both eye-catching and totally misleading. Eco-Towns was the result.
Now, the idea that you can simply plonk new communities in the middle of the English countryside without damaging the environment in every way possible is completely ludicrous. To dress it up in a pretty eco-frock demonstrates a level of cynicism and contempt for the intelligence of the average voter that is almost breathtaking in its arrogance. But then, wee Gordie never was too much bothered about the opinions of the English electorate; especially between elections.
In any event, he has erected a very convenient barrier between him and any negative feedback - his pin-bright, shiny new Quango. Or at least that was the plan. But, as today's demos outside Parliament have demonstrated, planning anything at all is not exactly Wee Gordie's strong suit. Not only are the English revolting - as any Scot worth his salt could tell you - but they are doing it in his back yard. Before the bloody Quango has even come into being.
What he urgently needs now is yet another Quango; one whose sole purpose is to stop Not So Flash Gordon shooting himself in the foot again.